Several years ago, I began a painting. It was a breath of fresh air, for at the time, I was trapped in depression. I was not very creative at this time. I could barely write, barely paint, barely even hope to dream of a bright future. I was wounded. Wounded by life, feeling powerless to what I felt was a malevolent universe, or maybe an ambivalent one.
There were so many times over the years since, that I would take this illustration out of her protective folder and stare at it. Where did this idea come from? Why couldn’t I finish it? Would I ever finish it? What was its purpose – to sell it? to frame it and hang it in our house? I felt that I had lost my mojo. My life was messy. I was exhausted. And that incomplete painting felt like a metaphor for my life… all these dreams… incomplete, taunting me from a future sometime with what my life could have been.
I have spoken often of this time period and the ultimate Surrender to deeply desiring Happiness, and finally Releasing all of the Pain which I felt defined me. This time period was a great teacher. I can see the steps so clearly now… a mini “Dreamer’s Guidebook”.
1. Wounds. Pain. Things that didn’t quite work out. Kind of feels like being trapped in quick sand. The more you rail against it, the deeper you sink. I want you to deeply understand that your past experiences do not indicate what is possible to you in the present or future. Somehow, those experiences are teaching you, informing you, redirecting you, changing your course. I want you to ask yourself, how can I redirect this? For me, my wounding caused me to want more than anything to help people so that I could be a life raft to them. Can you connect deeper with yourself, with others, provide yourself extra love? More than anything, if you want a dream life… you must find the blessing in the wound. It took me a long time to realize that my sinking deeply into my trauma was perhaps the biggest obstacle to manifesting a happier life. Find your way out by forgiving your past, being compassionate with yourself, and taking your powerful ability to create your life in the Now.
2. Bliss. An idea. A big dream. A goal. Beautiful things which spark your imagination. I want you to go ahead and Place your order with the universe. Let it create excitement within you for the possibilities. Don’t worry about how, that’s none of your business, and much too big a job for your conscious mind. Just – Dream. Dream the biggest dreams you possibly can. Think of all the things you want to experience, see, do, go, and BE. Place your order. Plant your seeds. Trust yourself, and trust the process of growth. Be bold. Be persistent. And be patient. No matter how long it takes.
3. You’re never too old. There is no such thing as “too much time has passed”. You can find your soul mate in your 60’s. You can get that degree at 92 (as a recent NPR story showcased). You can become an artist and sell your paintings in galleries at 40. Or you can be 50 and finally find your blissful calling.
4. Ideas are wild and free. Don’t bog yourself down with details or timelines or what-if’s. Explore. Be curious. Be adaptable. Flow. Be willing to see where new directions take you. When you sit with your art, don’t be too concerned with – will this be my masterpiece? will I ruin this? what if this doesn’t work out? I saw a wonderful poem by my favorite poet, Peter McWilliams which read: What if this doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does?
5. Life has seasons. In fertile, abundant, growth seasons – Give your all to your life. Hold NOTHING back. Nurture your life and the lives you touch with the full force of your being. Then, understand that you will need to hibernate a bit. During those times where you feel that things are slow going, whether the Muse has been silent for awhile, or life has become a bit topsy turvy, please understand that you are being challenged to grow or to rest. When you honor the rhythm of life, you fine tune the synchronicity of serendipity.
6. Enjoy right now. Slow down. The world won’t turn any faster because of your hurrying. If you rush about, you’re missing all of the slow changes, the details, the clues, the beauty of right now. Don’t get so busy trying to create a great dream future for yourself that you miss out on the sunrises and sunsets, the crashing of the waves upon the shore, the process of painting that picture, writing that book…. The natural world is a great example of balance. It moves neither too quickly, nor too slowly. Who are you to say that things aren’t happening soon enough? You can try all you want, but you will never be capable of pushing that river to move any faster than it is. You might as well sit down in the middle of it, and enjoy the cool water upon your skin.
One day, I finished that painting. Without notice, I set it down on the table, picked up my watercolors and my brushes, and knew exactly what to paint. I also knew what I wanted to do with the painting. I also knew why the pain of losing so many words last week to a computer glitch occurred.
I was going to sell the painting. I was originally creating an e-course for the Dream Guidebook (*which I still may some day soon). But, in learning so much from the process of creating that painting… which started in my darkest hour, and was finished at a time in my life that I have never felt more joy, and am living my bliss…
I realized it is meant to be shared. With you.
So here is a free download of the illustration – print it, email it, share it. I hope it reminds you to dream boldly, perhaps give you comfort, and perhaps my lengthy post has inspired you somewhat. If it has, I ask that you share the print and the the post with anyone you feel may need some inspiration. Pay it forward, as it were.
Download the print by clicking here!
Dream Bigger, my darlings,
T
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